On My Heart

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This post has been on my heart for quite some time. And by quite some time, I mean since November. But while there's a part of me that isn't timid to share if we are face to face, there are times when being serious (and not humorous) can be difficult.

Because sometimes I can hide like that. And funny is good, but being open is too, right?

I was asked to share a testimony at our ladies retreat in November and one topic kept swimming around in my head. Not leaving me alone. And despite the fact that it's not a "testimony" per se, I knew that it was something God was speaking to my heart and in that way was my testimony of where I was at that moment in my life.

And it has to do with how others view me at times, how I view others, and collectively how we, as women, tend to categorize ourselves.

While it can be complimentary at times (i.e. You are such a superwoman! I don't know how you can do all that you do!), those views and statements are unfair - to the ones they are given too and also to the ones giving them.

So many times we often only have a glimpse, a small picture of what is happening in someone's life. A quick moment in church. Running into each other at the store. A post or two on a blog... It's like picking up an old roll of movie film, looking at some of the frames, and then making an assumption on what the entire movie is about based on those few frames that we have the opportunity to look at.

And then we categorize that person based on what we've seen - and at the same time, categorize ourselves. "Wow. She really has it all together. There is no way that I can ever do all that." Not seeing the full picture.

We allow those assumptions to become the basis for what we feel we should measure up to. What we should be. Or become.

And truly it's unfair to the person we are doing it to and most importantly - to ourselves. Because each one of us was created with our own unique personality. Imprinted with the thumbprint of God.

The gifts that He may have given to me might not be gifts that He gave to you. Or vice versa. And that is OK! If we were all running around blessed with the same exact giftings, what fun would life be? Yes, He might have gifted me with organization. But maybe He has you have the gift of intercession. Or hospitality. Or patience with your children. And while it might seem like I'm comparing apples to oranges - that's the point. None of us are the same. God created us differently for a purpose.

While we are each gifted differently, there are also different seasons of our lives that allow us to do more (or less) too. These last few years of having baby after baby (or so it has felt) have required me to pull back from some areas that I LOVE and enjoy. And while it was difficult at first, I now see that God used that down time for a purpose in me. Time to renew me. Refresh me and instill a deeper love and desire for what He has in store for me. I know that in time I will have the opportunity to return to those areas, but if I get too caught up in where I want to be, I'll miss the moment of where He has me right now.

And that's not something I want to miss out on.