Are You Talking to Me?

You know that feeling you get when you are just merrily driving along, paying little regard to other things (your speed, for example) and then out of the corner of your eye you see a police car with a radar gun pointed at you. You look down. Gulp. You look back up in your rear view mirror and see the nose of his car work it's way out onto the road behind you...and that's when the feeling hits you. That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. The one that is part butterflies, fear, dread, anticipation, and "Oh, Lord, please...not me!"

For those of you who know me well enough, I didn't get pulled over. Or get into another accident. Take a deep breath. I just read my Bible and did devotions (please don't fall off your chair).

But that feeling did hit me yesterday while Meandering Through a friend's blog (oooo - that was good, eh Christin?) and today again while I was doing devotions. Christin recently borrowed a dvd set from me - my favorite show Grey's Anatomy and her post references that (click here to read the post). As I'm reading her post that feeling starts creeping in. But of course I must push it back. Phew. Good thing that God was talking to her and not me, right? I'm good. Really good. Because truly, that's not what I focus on.

This morning dawns nice and pretty and I sit down in a moment of peace and quiet and open up a devotional book to read "Mom...and loving it!" The chapter for this mornings conviction..."We've been mediatized. How the media affects contentment in women." Surely I must be reading a book meant for someone else. :::SIGH::: Here's a verse (paraphrased from the Message):

__________________________________________________________

"I'm doing the very best I can, and I'm doing it at home, where it counts.

I refuse to take a second look at corrupting people and degrading things."

Psalm 101:3

__________________________________________________________

There's that feeling again. I'm not going to be able to avoid this one. The authors go on to talk about the traps of various shows (soaps, sitcoms, movies, etc...). Even though many may seem to be just fun, they can give us a false impression of how things should be and encourage us to think negatively towards our family: husbands, children, and ourselves (image anyone?). While there are some shows that I know for sure fall into this category I started thinking about how some of the shows I watch affect my life. Reality shows even. I am a person who tends to get caught up in a show. I remember watching one of the seasons of the Bachelor (which truly now is just a joke because I'm wondering how many more bikinis can you fit in a hot tub). Anyway, I was pregnant with one of our kids and it was the night before the big finale - who was he going to propose to? I was up rather frequently at night and when I would lay there trying to fall back asleep those thoughts would start flying through my mind. "Who is he going to choose? He really should choose... What if he makes the wrong decision?" And sad (but true) I actually remember praying he would make the right choice. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I shouldn't pray for someone, but seriously. The bachelor? When I have a lovely man who comes home every night and works ever so hard, sleeping children in the next room, one growing within me and I'm praying for his spouse and decision? Perhaps my prayers might be well spent on my own family, eh? :::sigh::: While watching tv isn't bad, I am feeling convicted to really track my time. I get very anxious when I don't feel like I have enough time: my house is a mess, laundry is piling up, things need to be done...and yet I'm sitting on the couch absorbed in a show that isn't helping with any of the above problems. I don't need more time in a day, I just need to learn how to manage the time that I do have much better.

__________________________________________________________


"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!"

Matthew 6:22-23

__________________________________________________________

While it may seem relaxing and freeing to watch whatever I want (or read whatever I want) I need to be careful. If it is going to make me discontent, frustrated with what I have, and make me see my present circumstances through glasses that I don't need to be wearing...I need to change what I am doing. My focus belongs on one person ultimately. When it is on Him and my mind is being filled good stuff (Philippians 4:8-9) I have time to focus on the blessings that He has given me, dwell on what I am thankful for, and be content in all that He has given me.

My challenge for myself? Go on a diet. :::grins::: A tv diet that is. I'm starting there on trimming off some of the excess and fat that really needs to go and will use that time instead to do - oh, I'm sure I'll find something to occupy my time!